Building Resilience After Trauma and Loss
Trauma and grief can feel all-consuming, leaving us unsure how to move forward.You may feel an array of emotions that change daily or hourly. One minute you may feel like crying won’t ever stop, you can’t get out of bed, or you have lost any motivation to connect with loved ones. But resilience isn’t about ignoring pain — it’s about learning to navigate life with courage, self-compassion, and intention while moving through the pain.
The Role of Therapeutic Skills
CBT: Challenge unhelpful thoughts like “I’ll never feel normal again” and replace them with compassionate, realistic alternatives such as, “I don’t feel normal at this moment and an hour from now may be different”.
DBT: Use distress tolerance and emotion regulation techniques during intense moments.
Distress tolerance- TIP skill:
Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube to calm physiological stress.Intense Exercise: Engage in short bursts of movement (e.g., jumping jacks) to release tension.
Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breaths to regulate the nervous system.
Paired Muscle Relaxation: Tense and relax muscle groups to reduce physical stress.
ACT: Align your actions with values, even when emotions are difficult, creating purpose beyond pain.
Allow difficult feelings to exist rather than fighting or avoiding them.Example: Sit quietly and label emotions as they arise: “Here is sadness. Here is grief.” Acceptance doesn’t mean liking the feelings, just acknowledging them.
Practical Resilience Practices
Establish daily routines to create a sense of stability
Practice gratitude journaling for small, meaningful moments
Connect with supportive friends, family, or a therapist regularly
Recovery from trauma and grief is not linear, but each therapeutic step, self-care practice, and act of courage strengthens your resilience. You are not defined by what happened — you are defined by how you rise, heal, and continue living fully.
