Fertility and Body Image: Making Peace with Your Changing Self

Fertility struggles can dramatically shift how you see your body. Hormone treatments can cause bloating, weight gain, skin changes, or fatigue. Cycle after cycle, your body is under pressure to “perform,” and when it doesn’t meet expectations, frustration and shame can grow.

This is where therapeutic tools can be powerful — helping you step away from the idea that your worth is tied to appearance or reproductive function.

Tools to assist with this time:

1. Evidence Log:
When you catch yourself thinking, “My body is failing me,” write down evidence for and against that thought.

• For: I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.

• Against: My body can walk, laugh, hug, heal. It carries me every day.
  Seeing both sides helps break the all-or-nothing thinking that fuels body shame.

2. Values-Based Living:
Your body is more than a fertility machine. Ask: “What kind of person do I want to be through this journey?” Maybe you value connection, kindness, creativity, or resilience. Shift focus from body “success” toward actions that align with those values, whether that’s cooking with friends, creating art, or mentoring others. This is a time in your life where a lot will be shifting and how you choose to navigate this time matters. Choose what feels right for you personally and enjoy the actions that align with your values.

3. Radical Acceptance:
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean liking what’s happening (that’s just a recipe for disaster); it means fully acknowledging reality so you can stop fighting against it. Try saying: “This is where my body is right now. I don’t have to approve, but I will stop arguing with the facts so I can put my energy toward what helps me heal.” or another helpful thought is, “these are the only facts I have right now. When I have more information, I’ll address what is going on then, but for now, this is the information I have in this moment”.

Your body is not defined by a diagnosis, a scale, or a test result. It’s a living, breathing part of you that has carried you through every joy, heartbreak, and milestone so far. The road to parenthood can be rough on body image, but with skills like evidence logging, values-based living, and radical acceptance, you can begin to soften the inner criticism and see yourself with more compassion.
Be patient with your body — it’s doing its best. And so are you.